200 POUND UNDERGROUND

WHAT CAN I SAY? YOGA CLASS IS STRESSFUL!

Where have I been? The question is where the fuck have you been? Cause I know where I've been, pal. Stacking beers inbetween the screen door and house door of celebs, toking doobage with members of Violent Apathy...you know, the usual shit. I've also been staring at this flyer for hours on end wondering how this show would of went down. It never did (of course) but the idea of hearing 'Outcast' in the same night as seeing Tomata Du Plenty is too much for even my jaded as shit brain to handle. Shit, I woulda sat through Jerry Vile & The Boners to see this...and that's sayin' somethin'.

So..so...oh yes. I guess this Eskimo King CD-R named 'Satelite Decisions' has been on the market for awhile now, but I just stole it a few nights ago, so bear with me sweetcheeks. I know you and you're thinking 'Side project of Mouthus? My guess is cock splewey noise and I've heard that already'. All I gotta say is you're a douche nozzle supreme, jack. The first half of this disc is some pretty dope sketches of acoustics and keyboard that sound like 'Close to the Edge' fed through the brain of a tin pooping robot. The later half gets electric and certainly loudy, but it's not like it's scary or nutin'. In fact, I'd say it's roar is down right fuzzy. The perfect balance of the bitter and the sweet. Can you dig it? If you can't, please go and purchase a Porcupine Tree dildo. Ouch! That smarts, Boyd! http://ourmouthrecords.com/

If I've listened to anything more than the unreleased Violent Apathy 7" (do I sense a theme here?) it's been this disc by the Netherlands #1 Satan worshipping act, The Devils' Blood. Again, this band might be old hat to you hip young black clad thangs, but they're news to my old, dumpy jeaned self. I've listened to this disc - entitled 'Come Reap' - more than a few times now, and I'm still sorta confused. Jefferson Airplane on a dose of the Devil's blotter? This reeks not one iota of any rock music made within the past 30 years and that might be why it's such a winner. Who out there is going to go see them open for Pentagram? I might be tempted if someone promises freshly baked cookies right after they play. I'm looking at you Liebling! http://www.allthatisheavy.com/info.asp?item_num=ATH-5606

Uh..,that's pretty much all I got right now. Expect more and more sporadic postings as I work more and more on my book. I guess in the time being, make up your shit or read more Kanye West interviews. God knows they're more interesting and hilarious than I could ever hope to be.