Wednesday, May 31, 2006

I AM NOT ABOVE SELF-PROMOTION...OR TOUCHING YOU FOR A REASONABLE FEE... Above -- Lloyd Barnes is like 'I think I need more speakers' and his boy is all like 'Yeah, you do!' So he goes out and gets more speakers and they blast Uriah Heep and The Viletones 'til the weed runs out. True story...

Hey there hockey pucks--
Dig my review of the Howlin’ Rain CD that appears in this weeks’ Village Voice. I figure some of you outside of the glorious New York area might wanna check it out, so here ya go.,rettman,73355,22.html
Other than that, I got nothing for ya. Too busy with the fourth season of ‘Home Movies’ and transcribing hour upon hour of tape containing old men telling me how skeevy the Freezer Theatre was. Life is many a splintered thang. For now, how about a half-assed list of music I listen to a lot these days? That should hold ya…

Super Eight Loop - cassettes (Bloodlust!)
Career Suicide - 12” (Parts Unknown)
Voivod - ‘Nothingface’ (MCA)
Mind Eraser - ‘Cave’ (Painkiller)
HG/BXC - ‘II’ (Heavy Blossom)
Fleetwood Mac - ‘Rumours’ (Warner Bros)
Dirty B.S. - 7” (Slasher)
Various Artitsts -‘Firehouse Revolution - King Tubbys’ Production In The Digital Era 1985 - 89’ (Pressure Sounds)
James T. Pursey - ‘Revenge Is Not The Password’ (Turbo)
The Twinkle Brothers - ‘Dub Masscre Part 3’ (Twinkle)
Loefah - ‘Goat Stare/Root’ 12” (DMZ)
Vex’D - ‘Bombardment of Saturn’ 12” (Planet Mu)
Violent Minds - CD (Parts Unknown)
Various Artists - ‘Darker Than Blue -- Soul From Jamtown 1973-80’ (Blood and Fire)
Pat Boone - ‘Departure’ lp (Polydor)
Junior Delahaye - ‘Working Hard For The Rent Man’ 12” (Wackies)

Please remember, there’s no such thing as ‘guilty pleasures’. It’s all in your head…just like your ‘god’. Got it? Good….until next tymee….

Thursday, May 25, 2006

What can I tell you people? Life is a strange, salty wind these days. One day I call out sick to work just to stare at the walls and the next one some MTV employee is telling me he tried out for Amon Duul 2. It’s crazy I tell you…crazy as hell. When I wanna wind down from all the shiny balls and general confusion, I throw on the slippers and watch the new Negative Approach DVD entitled ‘Fair Warning Volume One’. I guess the thought of a Negative Approach DVD is sorta preposterous to some people. Sometimes I think I might be one of them. But once I get an eye fulla Detroit’s baddest roaring blast furnace style off the stage at Traxx, I’m gobblin’ the shit up like a kiddy boy. Four sets are included. The first is an early one where JB is sporting a homemade magic marker made Black Flag shirt. Witnessing that is worth the price of admission alone, Jack! The set is honestly kind of boring but you get to witness Brannon pull off the lamest stage dive known to man during their cover of ‘Chaos’. Splendid! The next is a set from Traxx in ‘82 that is pure bootboy insanity. ‘This one’s for fun…it’s by Blitz’. That’s all ya gotta know. Now if someone can pull an Oi! Division DVD outta their ass, I’ll prepare them a cob salad! Third set from Paychecks’ starts out pretty crappy where all you can see is some fly cat sporting half a pair of eye glasses. Then you get to see Larissa start the pit and all is forgiven. Last gem is Pappy B. rockin’ out with The shit! When I was twelve, I would of given you my dads’ nuts for this footage. Nowadays, I got these guys sending this stuff directly to my friggin’ house. I love both technology , the postal system and old dudes who’ll talk to you for hours on end about both Bookies’ and Nunzios’. Spot the number of times you see Andy Necros in this DVD and win a gravestone signed by Doyle and a years’ supply of bath salts. And now…here comes that pain again….You can order this from the Negative Approach myspace page -- A special ‘F-You’ to all those people that do their shopping on St. Marks Street…

And when I wanna wind down from THAT, I just throw on this new Axolotl 12” on Gypsy Sphinx entitled ‘Chemical Theatre‘. Both sides are custom made for late night stoning sessions where you can’t find your feet or your shoes. Terry Riley re-born as a Jersey pothead? Sounds fine by me! Makes me eagerly await some more of all this other shit Axo got comin’ out (A split with the Skaters on Catsup Plate, another full length jam on Psych-O-Path, etc) I think for now the only source for this disc is the Volcanic Tongue site over there in Scotland. There’s only 500 or so of these and I’d hate to think of you without it.

Sorta feel like a douche sleeping on this Magik Markers 12” on Hospital for so long. I just figured someone would fling it outta van window at me someday, so why care? I should care a lot more I guess. Listening to this, I don’t feel I’m listening to the Markers, but an anonymous rip in the fabric beyond thickness. You say you gotta boy over there wrapped in the blackest of cloaks who once heard an MP3 of Negative FX? How quaint. I will cue this sucker up, play it down the phone at you and watch you curdled like the brain turd you are. ‘Inverted Belgium’ (the record I’m sorta talking about) is going fast since Pete Nolan is so damn hot, so you better act quick on this un too. While you’re virtually ‘there’, compliment Hospital proprietor Dominick on his lips. He likes that…

Man, I gotta another Vex’D thing that I thought was pretty gnarled. This ‘Bombardment of Saturn’ 12” is a lesson in monotonous aggression that every tape wielder should be forced to listen to. It’s sort of a shame so many turn to smoke machines, phony Black Metal fans and bologna by the barrel when there’s something pretty vibrant and fucked with this Dubstep crap. There’s that Skream shit too that’s just as disorienting as spinning in place while reciting the lyrics to ‘Take ‘Em Up’. I can’t claim to be the most knowingest cat on this stuff, but as I consume, you will hear it about it. Lucky, lucky you… For now, just going to some of these spots might sort you out --

OK…that’s all I got in me at this late hour. For anyone that would care, this Saturday morning at 9 AM EST, I will be doing the listener hour on WFMU. If you wanna hear abuncha stuff you don’t care about, tune in. I’d be glad ya did.
Who knows when there will be a next time here. Who knows what I’ll talk about. Who knows why I’ve been carrying around this chicken carcass in my saddle bag for so long. I know I like that Black Market Baby discography that came out last month. I know I like Coach McGuirk. That’s all I know right now. So, with that in mind, let me go and gargle bleach…

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

IT'S AMAZING THE AMOUNT OF ASS SOMEONE CAN GET BY JUST READING WIKIPEDIA...OR.... HOW I LEARNED TO LOVE ASKINSTOO.................................... Above -- letters in the sand between GD + TV...ain't that sweet....

Well…long time, no corny ass bloggin’. So sorry, but I have been embroiled in so many god damned things lately. Besides producing the upcoming Apple Hub Bub Gang 7” (entitled “Now That’s What I Call Bleech!”) I have been playing phone tag with Pappy Brannon as well as feverishly checking the Livewire message board for more talk of Chain of Strength and Free Jazz. Hot damn man! The kids are finally having their say! I have also been huffing much Freon and checking out tunes. “Rear Deliveries” boy himself hipped me to the sounds of the DJ duo outta London Town named Vex’D. Now, I know all this will be old hat to you hip young things with your Palmolive flavored drugs and big ole t-shirts, but this crapola really knocked me on my cute lil’ rear. It’s a knotted sound with jarring electro-shocks and jolts that sends sheer paranoia up the spine. And now I get to say the thing my parents used to say about The Meatmen….’HOW DO YOU KIDS DANCE TO THIS?’ Seriously, I could only see moving to this in a slow shuffle with your arms dangling like snakes. Or maybe I’m just not that good of a dancer…For those who don’t want to get into the murky depths of collecting all these 12” singles and crap, Planet-Mu did up most of their 12” jams on a two CD set named ’Degenerate’. It’s provided many a confusing night here at the cabin since it came through the doors. Perhaps it could do the same for you?

Another thing that has been fucking me up lately is these CDR’s from Ohio’s Lambsbread. The sets they laid down while on the east coast a few months ago were holy gnarled godhead. If I ever have children (Rickles forbid!) I’d like ‘em to be like this lot of hooligans. Messed up on cough syrup…spinning ‘The Age Of Quarrel’ and ‘Demolish NYC’ back to back…writing ’fag’ on a mattress and setting it in front our neighbors’ window…cute scamp stuff, y’know? Most of their stuff comes out on band member Zach’s Maim & Disfigured label. My favorite out of the lot is ’Water Damage’, which not only destroys, but might win the 200LBU ’Best Cover Art’ award hands down this year. Shrieks and shards of feedback, hot leads and a drummer whose not sure whether to be the dude from Infest or a deboned monkey. You make the call by getting in touch with Zach at --
Be on the lookout for a CD on Parts Unknown and a U.S. tour with The Magik Markers this summer. I can smell the burnt skin already…

There are grizzled dudes who sit in poker sheds all day and all night for years playing every crappy record in the world. And then there are college grads who are slumming it until they inherit their daddy’s shoelace factory. Consider Burnt Hills in the former. As history has proven time and time again with everyone from Magic Muscle to The Screamin’ Mee-Mees, (not to mention those apple cheeked/ mentioned above Magik Markers) there is a strange and tempting allure to letting it all go in a basement, especially when you’re smoking toenail clippings out of a soda can. A thirty plus minute jam that is constantly shifting into the red eye zone, this is the type of stuff that makes bunk greens THAT MUCH better. Edition of 99 or something fucking retarded like that. Chrissy at Fusetron has it.

At this time, I’d like to remove my pants and tell you that I’ve enjoyed many a good live show lately. The double whammy of The Believers and Awesome Color at the Cakeshop was a good drunken time for anyone who testifies in warm sludge and nice buns. The Believers opening with a scorching version of the Beach Boys’ Wild Honey’ and then moving into new material that’s the ultimate in sludgy love rock. Awesome Color provided the only kind of Psychedelic muscle you can get from smoking’ bowls, thrashing pools and jamming both the Shitlickers and Randy Holden. Y’all who are out of range of NYC could do yourselves a favor and check this unit out when they open for Sonic Youth in the southern area of our fair country. Go to Awesome Color’s myspace page and get the dates. If you expect me to give you a link, you can also expect to get herpes sometime soon. Then there was that hipster concentration camp show at the Syrup Room with Om/Endless Boogie,/Major Stars/Michael Hurley. This show was a fun time despite a sorta crappy p.a. and a constant foot in my groin. Major Stars brought the riffs and sex faces for all the yellow sweatered masses. Endless Boogie peaked and vallied through their set, but made up for it the next weekend at the Cakeshop with delivering one of the best set I’ve ever seen them do. Times New Viking were also on this bill and proved why they make so many blogboys hearts go atwitter. Twas a good night. I’m looking forward to more evenings of too much booze and not enough Blitz references. I hope you do the same.

NEXT TIME (IF YOU’RE LUCKY…) Talk of the brand new Negative Approach DVD? Some old interviews out of the 200LBU dustbin? Maybe a new interview? Maybe I get a life? Well, as Lil’ Stevie Winwood said himself, ’Who knows what tomorrow may bring?’
Now please drop dead…