Friday, April 21, 2006

Every once in awhile, some young buckaroo will try to play me some new fangled Hardcore band they think I’ll like. ‘Dude, they sound just like (fill in the blank), you’ll love it!’ The situation usually ends up with me playing the recurring role of the jaded old fart. ‘Jesus Christ! This shit is so retro they might as well be playing stand up basses and wearing pompadours!‘ I drunkenly foam into the poor kids’ face who was nice enough to play the record for me. After that, I normally go on about how forced the anger is and how their guitar sound is too thin before passing out on their couch in an inebriated clump. The sad thing is, I wanna like the stuff. I wanna believe ‘the kids’ will actually have ’their say’ one day. I’d hate to think all my finger pointing and jumping on other young boys’ heads was all in vain, y’know. And so enters Toronto Canada’s Fucked Up. I heard their name thrown around here and there among the hip Hardcore kids I’ve been known to give candy to time and time again, but never really investigated them until one of them played me one of their many seven inchers. I was immediately floored. ‘This is some legitimately pissed off shit!’ I thought. I was already too late in the game to collect all the singles they released, but luckily they’ve all (more or less) been collected on the CD format by the Deranged label with the title of ‘Epics In Minutes’. One earful is testament to the fact that Hardcore is the Blues for the alienated Suburban youth. It might be the same three chords and the same lyrics about cops and confused anger, but it’s what’s behind it that makes it what it is. The band usually keeps everything at a mid-tempo, which reminds me of the more Oi! Inspired tracks by Negative Approach. One thing is for sure, if their track ‘Police’ doesn’t make you wanna punch some random pretty person in the face and/or explode (whichever comes first) you should have your Hardcore hall pass taken away, post haste. The end of the disc contains their demo and some tracks recorded live. Both batches of jams sound so dense and distorted, you’ll think it’s some new noise joint on the Hospital label or something. Strangely, next up for the band is a seven inch on Vice (?!?) and then a full length on Jade Tree (?!?) But don’t let that deter you. This is thee angry for both the young and the old.

Check out Fucked Up’s bloggo --

Other than that, I’ve had a very weird obsession with the first side of Fleetwood Mac’s ‘Tango In The Night’ as of late. Anyone who can explain this event (‘cause god knows I can’t), please do so…

Monday, April 17, 2006


Like most loser boys who grew up in the late 80’s, I hadda major wood problem whenever that laugh parade known as ‘Married…With Children’ came on the T.V. set. Remember the episode when Kelly Bundy did that super hot dance routine with the janitor at the talent show? I’m sure you do. Well, I know I do at least (How sad) So many years and buckets of spuzz later, it seems sorta strange that my teen dream queens’ mother herself put out some sorta whacked out soft pop record in her time and prime. Who woulda thunk it? Who woulda cared? Well, I care! (How sad) Nancy Priddy not only mothered Veronica Corningstone, but she also released ‘You’ve Come This Way Before’ on the Dot label back in 1968 with the help of our old hero John Simon and the production credit of Phil Ramone (?!?). The recent CD re-ish on the always impeccable Rev-Ola label outta the U.K. is something that hasn’t left the CD player in quite some time and if you’ve ever clutched a glass unicorn, you’ll understand why. Sure, there’s plenty of brass flourishes and sunny day vibes all over the thing, but there’s certainly something screwy going on in the corners of this raisin fest. Check the doomy and creepy anti-war sentiment of ’Ebony Glass’ and tell me you can take a late night trip to the bathroom in the same state of mind ever again. The track ‘And Who Will You Be Then?’ also has the same sullen feel with plenty of weirdo moog blurts and bubbles adding to the disorientation. But yeah, there’s plenty of rainbow licking on here too. ’Mystic Lady’ is the number one track to throw on when you’re stoned out of your gourd and wanna get all lollipop on yourself. The thing I find funny is Pretty Purdie was the drummer on this session. I get a vision of him there, cig dangling from his lips, gettin’ slimy and down in the dirt for some of the funkier shit on here (like the title track, for instance) Then I picture him knee deep in disgust playing the happy white people beats on some of these tracks. Hey, it amuses me…I’m sorry. I’m not even gonna get into the track based on an Andrew Wyeth painting. It’s conceptual before Jon Anderson ever delivered a bottle of milk. And that’s a pretty heavy statement, no?
If this sounds like your bag of candy, go here --

For now, all I can tell you is if you live anywhere near this crud hole we call New York City, make sure to be down in the basement of The Cakeshop (152 Ludlow between Stanton and Rivington ) this Friday (April 21) when Midwest-cum-Bushwick psychsters Awesome Color share the stage with Northern Massachusetts’ sexiest sludge rockers, The Believers. It’ll be a love fest to end all love fests. I recommend donning ’protection’ prior to leaving the house. You have been warned…

Friday, April 07, 2006

NEW YORK AND LONDON PAIR WITH EUNUCHS...EVERYBODY TALK ABOUT ROBIN SCOTT... Above -- Rettman looks into the window of the future and sees this image; still confused.

If memory serves me right, my seventh birthday party wasn’t the greatest of occasions. Sometime early in the proceedings, I was stung right in the face by a bee and some kid wet his pants just so he could go home early. Not only that, but a family member decided to play ‘deejay’ for the soirĂ©e. Plenty of dummy kids and their dummy parents were serenaded and marinated to the strains of such hits of the day as ‘Hey Saint Peter’ by Flash and the Pan and ‘Straight Lines’ by New Musik. And then of course, there was the incessant spinning of ‘Pop Musik’ by M. Whenever I hear that track, my brain soaks itself in bee juice and kiddy urine to remind me of what a shit start I had on this life. So, when I heard a few years ago that the ‘mastermind’ behind ‘Pop Musik’(Robin Scott) cut a record of acidic folk rock for the highly collectable and totally awesome Head label in the late 60’s, I was sorta puzzled. The record was always out of my price range when I would see it in Euro record lists. I’m not too sure of the exchange rate in Ratland, but I was pretty sure I didn’t have the equivalent of 2000 ganips in the bank. This situation really started to irritate me when I found out his backing band on this album was none other than Mighty Baby, a late 60’s U.K. hippy band held in the highest esteem by me and probably about three other beard wearing wanderers. Well, sometimes good things DO come to those who wait…and wait…and wait. The Sunbeam label just re-issued the thing (Entitled ’Woman From The Warm Grass’) on tinfoil and it lives up to all my bad toothed hippy dreams in some aspects. The tunes where Scott is backed by the Babe are spectacular stoned out grooves with MB guitarist Martin Stone practically bleeding his soul out. The English take on the west coast laid-backed-smoke-a-garbage-bag-full-of-weed sound will always prevail in my Anglo fixated mind, folks…sorry. The tracks where it’s just Robin and his acoustic can be affectively brooding, but nothing that’ll make you make up some lost love to weep about. I mean, why dole out the cash for this when you can buy the double ‘Early Years’ set of Al Stewart for a couple bucks at your local basement shoppe? His imitation of Dylan on a few tracks sometimes rivals Mike Hart, but that’s just sometimes. An interesting artifact? Sure. But let’s just say I’m glad I never gave Paul Major my first born for this. Then I would have to convince myself it was great.

Robin Scott - ‘Woman From The Warm Grass’ available through --

In the past week, when I’ve been ignoring paying bills or attention to the outside world, these are the things that have been entertaining me -- (dudes, you gotta update this bloggo more often! I need more!) (the greatest blog ever? perhaps…)

…And finally, I give you the wit and wisdom of the man I consider both my soul mate and guiding light in life…

There we go…just how I like it…short, sweet and to the point. Dig on it or go dig a grave…