WE LIKE PUTTING SEVEN INCHERS IN OUR EARS

Hey buddy or buddette - 

Please see the attached reviews of seven inch sized records below for your perusal and/or enjoyment. They were done by Tom DeAngelo  and Tony Rettman. They're easy to tell apart. Tom's are the ones written with a youthful vigor fulla enthusiasm and moxy. Tony's are the short 'n' not-so-sweet scribblings of a man jaded and beaten. See if you can tell 'em apart! First person to send in winning results will be awarded with a swift kick in the ass.

 

EDDY DETROIT & THE SUN CITY GIRLS - Eddy Detroit Meets The Sun City Girls (Ammit, 7”)

Here’s a recorded pairing that on first glance seems like a great idea. Sun City Girls, nem’s the tits! And Eddy Detroit, why Immortal Gods is only one of the true out-of-its-time classics of the Reagan era! Recordings of them together from the mid 80’s/90’s…what’s not to like? So in place of a record review let’s present a hypothetical - albeit highly plausible - situation: You’re browsing the fresh off the boat goods at your local chop shop and see this tidy seven inch sleeve sprinkled with a couple desert baked freaks and a topless lady and you pick it up without even thinking twice about the box of ant traps or multiple cans of duster your $5 to $7 could theoretically go to instead. Then, whilst putzin’ on back to the sewer drain you crawled up from it hits you; the Sun City Girls have like 400 hours’ worth of seriously unlistenable material, and that’s just the shit they decided to release on vinyl while they were still a band! You’ve been duped again by those sly Arizonian tricksters! But hey, there’s still a chance the record could be OK. Let’s see…throw it on the turntable (why the fuck you got a turntable and records in the sewer anyway Ratatouille?) and listen to the 6:44 A-side jam Shango. Hmmm, some conga to start things off, not so bad, now some hazy group moaning, awww shit this is just like that dragging performance art cloggin’ up all those stray SCG VHS/DVD’s, but this time Eddy D’s handling the mic! Well sure, bet it was cool to be there dosed to the nines, but you’re not, you’re in a filthy fucking sewer surrounded by toilet water and vermin, and this song’s isn’t helping you to forget it any. Flip it over and wait, what’s this? An arid midnight psych burner that sounds cherry picked straight out of the prime post- Torch catalog, which it was (1993 to be exact) and recorded on a 4-tack in Phoenix. Two and a half minutes of greatness there, though Eddy’s contribution is hard to pick out (guess he was playing bongos or somethin’). As any lazy music “critic” who’s kinda bored with his own writing might say in a pinch, “Worth the price of admission alone.” Well sort of. You probably still don’t need this record, but it’s definitely not a complete waste or nothing. Last track’s another ramblin’ live number, reportedly recorded in an abandoned Phoenix house, which sounds a fair bit darker than the aimless ambiance of the first side and a good deal more palpable as well. Not a terribly essential piece of vinyl, but still probably better than the vast majority of music recorded in 2012. Just pretend it’s one sided I guess. – TD

HOAX - 2nd E.P. (Youth Attack!, 7”)

Follow up to the terrific 2011 debut stomper from this popular New England gaggle, released via Hardcore’s premier joke label. I’m sure the YA! catalog description makes some reference to father time’s undying glare withering away mankind’s emaciated butternuts or Juggallo face paint or cotton candy flavored suppositories. But Hoax just continue to deliver the mic-to-the forehead goods on this subsequent four song batch; like if Chaos UK packed their bags for the greasy pastures of Pizzaland and shared bills with Wretched and Raw Power instead of English Peace Punk bands. The catchiest cut I can see kids getting loose to “in the pit” is the opening one; the mid paced chugger Down. That’s followed by a re-recorded version of demo track Suicide Pact, which features some of the funniest hardcore couplets this side of a One Life Crew record. As others before me have pointed out already: If this dude’s so set on killing himself why’s he still kickin’? Well at the very least he’s in a decent Hardcore band, which is reason enough to keep climbin’ Hamburger Hill. Packaging is of course unnecessarily involved for a Punk record, making the 7” a huge pain in the ass to get out of the sleeve, and features a bizarre/stupid preoccupation with the rock climbing off shoot of “spelunking”, tho’ I do like the pile of rocks transposed over a military man on the cut out flip piece (nice nod to the jacket of Bo Diddly’s Where it all Began on that ‘un). Still, I’d recommend modifying your copy with a dust sleeve tucked into the fold over plastic if you plan on actually playing the thing. At times, as is often the case with “these bands”, the misanthropy comes off as more than a little forced, but Hoax write some seriously crushing riffs, so I gotta give ‘em the edge here. Plus, the drummer was wearing a Fugs shirt at the gig I picked this record up at, so I know these kid’s hearts are in the right place. The world’s your oyster god damn it, so here’s to a nice group grope! – TD

  

LAKES – Crossed With Leaves (Quemada, 7”)

As I get older and my ears grow hair, I feel myself regressing more and more back to a very fond love for the seven inch format. If you asked me if I wanted to have such an abrupt listening experience sometime in the 90’s, I would have coughed a cloud of dope smoke in your face and continued trancing out to a nine hour No Neck Blues Band jam. But nowadays, I want something concise and affective in-between my bowl of All-Bran and a bike ride. So, I wonder if I am so enamored by this new Lakes single due to its length (ew-er!) or its actual qualitative nature. I’d like to think it’s a little from column A and a little from column B.  I scored a copy of the Lakes LP Winters’ Blade in the summer of last year and it didn’t really pump my organ. This little beauty though sounds like one of the finest gloomer discs to trod wax stained floors since Sir Chamberweed himself donned a Merciful Release t-shirt.  Seriously. Don’t be afraid to swoop. – TR

NASAL BOYS – Hot Love b/w Die Wuste Lebt! (Sing Sing, 7”)

My relationship (for lack of a better word) with the Sing Sing label is a weird one. I find some of the stuff they re-issue to be of the total head-smacking ‘Why didn’t I fucking know about this?!?’ variety (Dwarf, Deaf Aids, Roller Ball, etc.) and some of it just reeks to me of the sole New Wave band in some Podunk town who managed to squeak out a single before retiring to a life of data entry or gas pumping. And trust me I should know about such things having grown up around the likes of Smart Remarks and the Shades. But sometimes this label gets their lucky duck hands on something that is a truly phlegm caked gemstone; such as this first 45 by Switzerland’s’ Nasal Boys from ‘78 for instance. Many a deep pocketed pal and/or older punk type has jammed this thing for me before and made me red with envy. But I guess good things DO come to those who wait, ‘cause here I am jamming the record with enough money left on the debit card to get a quinoa patty and a seltzer for dinner tonight. Who would have thought we’d see such a time? You know…where I’d eat a quinoa patty. Folklore tells that the Nasal Boys were more influenced by New York than the punk coming out of London at the time, but both their shiny leather pants and the A-Side of this single tell me a different story. Hot Love sounds like a prime candidate to be played behind some stock footage of two multi-colored haired morons strangling themselves on the dance floor of the 100 Club. And that’s certainly not a diss. The B-Side states the case of a Ramones influence a bit more but the rhythm section of Konrad Sauber and Pade Schletzer swing way more than Dee Dee and Tommy ever could. Now who’s gonna have the huevos to release the LP these guys released on Epic under the name Expo? That record might not be raw like a war, but it’s up there with shit like the Empire 12” in regards to cleaned-up and confusing Punk records go. Anyone? Anyone? – TR  

OMEGAS – N.Y Terminator (Painkiller, 7”)

I’ve read Montreal’s Omegas heralded as “The best current band in Hardcore” or what -have -you from a handful of fairly disparate sources by now, and I gotta say, after attending the release gig of this very 7” I might have to agree. What’s so great about this slam-skank promoting unit? Well for starters, in a live setting they bring a level of unbridled ignorance harkening back to the days before Ray Cappo, John Porcelly moved from Connecticut to the Big Apple. Hilarious crowd baiting, people far too old to be moshing doing so, and indiscriminate attacks at audience members were aplenty the only time I caught ‘em in the flesh. But this is a record review, not an appraisal of the state of fashionable Brooklyn loft performances; we’ve got an E.P. to discuss. Much like the absolute juggernaut which was last year’s Blasts of Lunacy, this platter is filled with awkward tempo changes that shouldn’t work but do along with gloriously heavy breakdowns that would make any Krakdown fan’s nipples hard, and lyrics addressing topical concerns of the street. And again, much like the album, the prime influence I’m picking up hiding just below the surface is Christian Death. Seriously, nobody believes me on this but listen to the snaking bass line in the outro of Nazi Rules and tell me it doesn’t elicit an image of the band hiding out in some abandoned Southern Californian church shooting smack between their toes right before pressing record. I was actually jammin’ this one in the presence of a friend a couple days before writing this review and he noted that it didn’t seem to hit as hard as the LP, and while I’ll agree that they’re might not be anything as instantly addicting as Disgusting Fun, it’s still a hard ass record that makes most other corny Punk bands around today look even worse than they already do. But really there’s no sense in comparing the Omegas to children ‘cos, for one, their full grown adults and two, they’re a damn fine hardcore band no matter the era in consideration. - TD

SCRAPS – Secret Paradise (Disembraining, 7”)

That Scraps LP from last year certainly won my ‘Best Record Title’ for ’11 award (Classic Shits) but I didn’t really find myself listening to it more than once or twice. And that’s not to say it was lousy or anything; it just failed to register in my barely pumping brain. But this three songer from the lady from Brisbane is having the opposite effect on me; it’s registering out the wazoo! Those unfortunate enough to return to my house after a night of carousing will know I have a great fondness for the first two singles by Thick Pigeon and Ms. Scraps (Laura Hill if you’re nasty) seems to have nailed down the pristine, creepy electro feel of those tiny little discs on this single, for sure.  I could assuredly see this 45 being lined up after a sauced jamming of Subway or Dog the next time I come home from a liver damaging session. Max Milgram: you have been warned. - TR

LAURICE STILL WANTS TO SMASH YOUR FACE IN (PART DEUCE)

If your brain isn't too water logged, you'll remember we ran part one of this interview with the glam daddy known as Laurice a few weeks back. Well here's part two of the tale and we do mean 'tale'...Read on... 

 

200LBU: Tell us some more about Best of Laurice Volume 1.

LAURICE: The rock tracks Born to Serve and Rock Hard were really influenced by Lou Reed and The Velvet Underground. Heavily sexual, S&M, controversial, and the two gay-themed tracks Wild Sugar and He’s My Guy were way ahead of their time. I know I took a chance recording gay sex rock, but it was the 70’s and I wanted to experiment. I didn’t believe in closets – then and now!

200LBU: When were you turned onto the Velvet Underground?

LAURICE: I was introduced to them in the late sixties when I was at University. Simon Godd loved all the West Coast artists as well as The Who, etc. I listened to them, of course, but I was into Wilson Pickett, Aretha Franklin and Dusty Springfield. It was only after I left college that I began to study them and realized that I liked a lot of it.

 

200LBU: Dusty Springfield…now there’s someone that must have made a huge impact on you. I just imagine she would be like a female answer to Elvis as far as the UK goes in that time.

LAURICE: Dusty was no Elvis - nor did she want to be. Besides, she really was the generation below Elvis, who really dominated the late fifties and very early sixties.  Even though she did do a duet with Jimi Hendrix her record company would not allow it to be shown on her famous BBC weekly shows. The image they wanted of Dusty was of a pop singer. Nothing more.

But Dusty was a lot more. She had a very distinctive voice and, like me, she liked to challenge herself. Barring opera, she just about recorded every other type of music genre, folk, soul, pop, traditional ballads, dance, jazz etc. Europe never has put itself into the straight-jacket music compartmentalization mentality that America did starting in the 1980s. That is why so many British bands did so well in the US in the 1980s with New Wave. They just were allowed a lot more mainstream flexibility in their artistic expression.

Dusty had a very distinctive look that many girls followed: the panda eye make-up, the bouffant hair, and that voice. She was the whole package and there was simply nothing like her. She was Britain’s number one female artist throughout the sixties. Eventually, after the Dusty in Memphis album she settled on soul music for a while, although, quite frankly, her best was the ballads she recorded on her Dusty in London and Where Am I Going albums, many of which have become classics. I met the lady twice – one at the height of her fame and then in 1980 before her 1980s European comeback. I feel she is a great loss to the music world.

It was Dusty, by the way, that almost single-handedly brought Motown to England via her BBC TV show. I copied all of them, and when I was older, I put together a cabaret act imitating many of them.

200LBU: Who did you do best?
LAURICE: Well, I was pretty good at all of the ones I did. But I loved doing Dusty, and not just Diana Ross but all of the Supremes. Elvis, of course, Louis Armstrong, Julie Andrews, Barbra Streisand -

200LBU: You did Barbra Streisand?
LAURICE: Yes. I would do Barbra singing The Way We Were. I had a big ballad voice, even though I didn't use it on record to any great extent. I had quite a range. I literally could sing anything. Billie Holliday, you name it. However, there was one artist I could imitate but just couldn't get into, even though I could imitate her extremely well.

200LBU: And that was?
LAURICE:   Ella Fitzgerald.

200LBU: No kidding.
LAURICE: It's true. Now, I admire her very much, but it wasn't until I was well in my twenties that I began to really appreciate Ella's unique style. Even though I could do a killer Ella rendition of Every Time We Say Goodbye.

200LBU: Let’s get back on track here. What else is on the album that you’d like to comment on?

LAURICE: That’s Nice is one of my favorites. It has a real rock-bluesy feel to it enhanced by a really dirty sounding lead guitar riff. Really great. Shy Baby I think catches the innocence of adolescent longing in a really trippy 1960’s rock kind of way, even though it was recorded in the early 70’s. It’s the closest thing to the big palais sound of that 50’s to 70’s period that was very, very English.

200LBU: Now why did you leave for America in 1975?

LAURICE: Well I went to Canada first. There were many reasons. The main one was probably Greener pastures. Wanted to spread my wings.

200LBU: You became a disco diva?
LAURICE: Yeah, I actually did. I had a few hits, worldwide and domestic, before going to the U.S. I did okay there, but I missed Canada and I’m back there now.

200LBU: Tell us about your time as a disco diva.
LAURICE: Well, it was a bit of a change from the rock scene. But glamour, sex, drugs and rock and roll were in, so to speak.

200LBU: Oh please tell us more
LAURICE: It was an absolute blast. Sex, drugs, rock and roll - and disco ruled the roost. Poppers, Quaaludes, LSD - you name it, you could get it. It was just incredible. There was so much sex and drugs on offer that you felt it could go on forever, and you wished it could go on forever. Glamour was in, and people looked really good. Labelle, Donna Summer, Dan Hartman, KC And The Sunshine Band, Gloria Gaynor - the list went on and on. You could party all night. Sex orgies were the rage. Drug overdoses were, unfortunately, quite common- and they still are. I lost a few good friends that way.

200LBU: You didn’t indulge?
LAURICE: I won’t give away too many secrets. I did have a blast. But I had to get up for work. I took my career very seriously. I had to look my best. I was guest of honour at the Montreal DJ Pool’s Annual White Party, which was an incredible experience. We were all dressed in white, dancing on this huge dance floor in a Montreal Club, while waiters appeared, all dressed in white, carrying five gallon magnums of champagne right onto the dance floor, pouring champagne into our wine glasses. It was astonishing and a complete riot. I appeared on TV singing my latest hits.  I signed albums in record stores. The whole shebang. It was, as I say, a huge blast.

200LBU: But disco had its downside…
LAURICE: Did it ever. Promoting my disco music, which I felt about most passionately, was always an uphill battle.

200LBU: Why was that?
LAURICE: It was so different than today. There was a really wicked resistance to dance music - disco and disco artists. Look how Donna Summer, the Queen of Disco, had to struggle to get herself heard by the public. Many radio DJs just hated disco. It wasn’t rock, and they thought it was too black and too gay.

200LBU: How did it affect you professionally?
LAURICE: My track We Will Make Love was banned in America at first. The radio establishment actually said it was too black and too gay.  Eventually it became a worldwide hit. So was The Disco Spaceship. One of the most remarkable things that has ever happened to me is that I have both Canadian and America DJs sometimes come up to me (the older ones, of course) and tell me that I was one of their biggest inspirations. They tell me that Disco Spaceship actually inspired them to become DJs. I feel so proud of that.

200LBU: Any chance of obtaining those songs today?
LAURICE: Yes, you can find that track and all my hits plus unreleased material on my Dance Dance Dance album released through CD Baby. It includes The Hotline which was banned by radio stations in LA as being too sexy – do you believe? The controversial cover is now a collector’s item. You can see it on my web site.

200LBU: So what made you decide to do smooth jazz?
LAURICE: When new age music started to fade in the late eighties, the new smooth jazz formats started to appear, and I just loved it, both the instrumental and the vocal versions. It made me want to record some of it, but I wanted to put my own stamp on the genre. I became very ill, and for part of my recovery I started putting down some instrumental tracks and composing again. A friend of mine advised me to be courageous and do a whole new album. I balked at first, but I decided to go ahead and do it. It was the best therapy I could have devised.  I dedicated it to my partner of over fifteen years, Larry D. Norton, who is a flautist in his own right. He had a lot to do with my recovery. His love and support carried me through.

200LBU: That's wonderful, Laurice. He must have been quite an inspiration to you.
LAURICE: Yes he was - and still is. He really likes a lot of my smooth jazz material.

200LBU: And what about the Echoes CD?
LAURICE: I eventually released Echoes, which really was a mixture of smooth jazz and adult contemporary vocals, and even some New Age instrumentals too. My feeling with including instrumentals on the album was that no artist can sustain a voice forever on an album. There has to be variety, and sometimes you need to give the audience a rest from your vocals. So I did. 

200LBU: Did Echoes do well?
LAURICE: Financially no. But I put a lot of effort into promoting it and Echoes is planned as the first in a cycle of proposed new CDs, combining smooth jazz/adult contemporary vocals and New Age instrumental compositions that stress my versatility without compromising a love of rhythm oriented material. That was and still is the plan. Tracks such as Don’t Run From The Heartache, Fly Away, Heart Like Yours, I Really, Really Love You, Rage and Echoes, the title song, have already met with smooth jazz radio, NAC, adult contemporary radio and lounge music success in Europe, Russia and the Far East.  Even some of the instrumental tracks, such as Moonlight Jade and Theme From The Haunted Rain Forest have become staples at smooth jazz and adult album alternative contemporary music stations in those countries.  

200LBU: So what's next for Laurice?
LAURICE:    Promoting Best of Laurice Vol 1, and hopefully gearing up for Volume 2. It really is difficult choosing a music genre, because I embraced so many and I am really proud of my achievements in all those music fields. I believe in quality and I think my music holds up with the best of them. 

If you're up for buying, check out Laurice's website and get the Best of Laurice Volume One here.

KILGORE TROUT PREACHED TO THE CHOIR AND LOOK WHERE IT GOT HIM! (AN INTERVIEW WITH FNU RONNIES)

Interview and introduction by Tony Rettman

Like many other bing-bongs, I consider that FNU Ronnies 12” that came out on Load a few months ago entitled Saddle Up to be an early contender for the shit house jumper of the year. If you don’t agree, look deep inside your own pee hole until you see God.

This interview was conducted across the inter-electrical/galactic airwaves and it was engineered by Captain Warlock.

200LBU: From what I know, you guys are sorta scattered around the country presently. True?
FNU: True. True Blue. Philly, San Francisco and parts unknown. Because we recorded and later mixed the songs before and after tours, it created an urgency and focus that I don’t think would have happened otherwise. It took way too long but for different reasons.

200LBU:Was it a pain in the ass to record the record with everyone all over the place?
FNU: Everything is a pain in the ass. That’s why we seek salvation in music catharsis and hope a shaman or two winks a nod.

200LBU: What's the reason for having members in Philly and San Fran?
FNU: Jim’s always had his sights set on the Pacific and when the opportunity presented itself, he took it. 

200LBU: What are the pros and cons of each city? Where does Max Milgram factor in on the Philly list?
FNU: Philly's location makes it great for touring. Max is pro for his encyclopedic knowledge of gutter rock and gastronomy, not in that particular order. Philly good points: Touring locale, soft pretzels, home town sports pride, and the Liberty Bell. Sun Ra lived here and the people are real!  SF good points: Beautiful sweeping vistas that are awe inspiring. USA Mexican food.  The Tamale lady. Accessibility. People watching as a sport. Bad points: Philly, too much negativity too many white sneakers and sweatpants. SF:  Disneyland psych ward new age new Babylon that’s burning and set to implode. People are fake.

200LBU: Is it just me, or does Saddle Up show a more Psychedelic edge than previous FNU fare?
FNU: Yeah, we think so. It took a while for someone to actually point that out. Psychedelic music has been very influential in our sound; we merely cut and paste virtual sound schematics w/ the new DSMV V manual on emerging Nano-tech distribution of eight way optical halogrammatics for the upcoming holo-deck space olympics. Too many illicit substances, lack of sleep, bronchial infections, and depression of moon bones hyper pulled this simulated direction.

200LBU: What’s the average diet of an FNU and how does it affect the music you think?
FNU: Pizza, beer, tacos. Result: Idiotic frenzy via cro -magnon neo cave spirit vs. the slow food movement.

200LBU: What kind of reaction are you looking for with Saddle Up?
FNU: Play the record over and over, and then give us money, awards, etc. Saddle up and impregnate. Be dumb as possible. Be excited. Cry.

200LBU: Do you dudes play in other bands besides FNU? What else do you dudes do besides jam?
FNU: One played in another band but got kicked out ‘cause he didn’t wear enough eyeliner. Cold gut glory. The other gets up in the morning and sits in his bedroom all day in front of the mirror like Tom Cruise in his underwear with a brook stick in Risky Business. Hot shit story. The other one is keeping time all the time. God like fury

200LBU: And finally…what does Kurt Vile’s sperm taste like?
FNU: Just like Max Milgram's but not like Neil Young’s

PURCHASE YOUR VERY OWN COPY OF SADDLE UP RIGHT HERE.