CRUCIAL CACOPHONY AT THE CRUCIAL CAKE SHOP COCKSUCKER! TOMMOROW @ CAKE SHOP 152 LUDLOW ON THE LOWER EAST SIDE IN NYC AT 8PM FOR 7 DOLLARS...MAGIK MARKERS/HOMOSTUPIDS/BLUES CONTROL/RICHARD AND JON (Or as I like to call them 'EXCITINGS!' get it?) PLUS DJ SETS FROM BRIAN TURNER AND TONYA RIOTMAN. SHAVE OFF YOUR BEARD, GRAB YOUR GENNIES AND MOSH!!

GET YOUR KAFTAN, BITCH...WE'RE GOING FOR A RIDE...
Awhile back there in the '01, I went on about the Babe in the pages of Fuzzola's Blastitude in a painfully sucky manner. There were some facts and words, but that's about it. I don't really think I nailed down how much this early 70's UK bands' music means to me, especially their second and final record, 'A Jug Of Love'. Their self titled debut from '69 was an amazing blend of California dreaming and English mysticism, a totally essential listen for anyone who enjoys lit windows and brown shag carpeting. Their second record from '71 pretty much saw them chuck all the limey vibes out the french windows and go full bore ahead with their interpetation of the American dream. The whole thing that continiously lures me back to records cut by these English bands from the early 70's is how well they beat the American pioneers of this music in mish-mashing styles. Quicksilver, The Band, The Byrds and Poco were all the same to them in some polarized vision, so out spat some truly mesmerizing and strange records. There's equal measures worship of both Richard Manuel (Just listen to 'Virgin Spring' for dick's sake) and the faux dirt cowboys from the hills. Why MB guitarist Martin Stone (also having served time in Savoy Brown, The Pink Fairies, Chilli Willi and The Red Hot Peppers, etc.) doesn't have a bronze statue in my living room, I really don't know. Anywhos, the people at the Sunbeam label did up a real nice thick vinyl re-ish of 'Jug of Love'. Go buy a garbage bag full of oregano and enjoy this disc in a proper fashion. http://www.forcedexposure.com/artists/mighty.baby.html

MACRONYMPHA CAN SUCK IT!

Not one douchebag in a brand new Negative Approach shirt in sight...perfect. I wish I had a time machine to take every No Fun attendee who thinks seeing a bunch of guys dry hump one another and throw garbage cans around is a 'radical' statement and dump them off at CB's in '88. Oh what fun that would be! Communale sighting in this video noted and accounted for..

THE BOSS JIM GETTYS ARE DEAD...LONG LIVE THE PLUM STREET SPOT... What kinda 'authority' am I to talk about all these new and exciting true-to-life disorienting sounds the kids are kickin' out these days? I sit here in this dustbin of an apartment jamming 'Bella Donna' and Soulside's 'Trigger' 12" over and over again while so many with holes in both their souls and pockets mull over this stuff and spit out their opinion like so much onion dip. They usually end their opinion with 'Limited to 50...act today!' but who cares? I guess if the sounds is potent, they potent...no matter how many are made. But if I know anything, I know that when I was a young beardo dwelling the streets of New Brunswick, New Jersey in the early 90's, the place was a serious cultural wasteland. Still feeling the blowback of being such a hip city in the late 80's, the burg was a fuckin' pit of despair. Tons of horrid Stooges copyists still thinking Bruce Pavitt was gonna roll through town with a time machine and a contract to make a jillion albums while giving an advance of Swallow twelves. It truly sucked. Me and some of my bros tried to stir some shit, but we were looked at like pointless card tricks. I remember trying to convince some indie rock douchebag he should book NNCK (circa '96) in this loft space he had. He treated me like total dogshit and then proceeded to play me tape after tape of his crappy space rock band being produced by one of the guys from Tortoise. Bummer city, U.S.A population me...

So now there's this total happenin' noise/psych shit rock scene going on there and I gotta admit I'm abit jealous. How come all these kids in their homemade costumes get to have so much fun in that town in this post-Wolf Eyes blowin' up world? But shit man, I'm happy for 'em...even ecstatic you can say. They got a happenin' party palace there on the same street I used to live on and some decent touring bands always stop there. And some of these units they got goin' on there are pretty hapennin' as well. USA Gold Exchange seem to fill their 'large ensemble' quota, jamming out quiet, creepy jams for those of us who still hold their copy of 'In Public and Private' close to their crotch. 2673 has been on the scene for awhile but he still don't get the recognition he deserves. Maybe if he donned some heavy eye make-up and wore communion dresses people would care...I don't know. I haven't really heard any of those King Darves jams yet, but I'd like to. Human Adult Band I've actually hoid and it's some damn good sludgy shit rock shit with some obnoxious ass wiggling to spare. But the whole stupid reason I started this spiel, was to talk about this new 7" entitled 'Jar' by New Brunswicks' Car Commercials. Car Commercials includes a dude named Dave whose done stuff under the name Ladderwoe and has a finger (heh-heh) in the fore mentioned USA Gold Exchange. It also includes that dashing lil furball Daniel DiMaggio, who you might know from his Home Blitz fame. The two dudes do up some real demented jams on this slab. Tape recorders get shut on and off, sped up...slowed down and then they bust into some rockin' and then some close-talkin' microphone action. You like the Prats?early Shadow Ring? Do you get joy outta knowing there's kids half you age that are as fucked up as you? Then, mister...jump on this today! Limited to....ahh...y'all HAD to see that one comin'. But seriously, get with these jokers and get a copy of this single. It's a dingaling up the shnozola, lemme tell you...Dave in CC does the Leaf Leaf label and here's their MySpace page where you get hooked up with a corn-a-coppola of stuff from the home of The Golden Rail...here's the linkage

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=28758210

Other than that, I really dig this compilation that was just dropped on the Non-Commercial label entitled 'Battle of The Worst Bands'. If I may spew one of my usual stand-bys...In the early to mid 90's, I was an ex-Hardcore kid smoking weed and seein' how many records on the United Artists label (circa '72) I could find (I still need that Halfbreed record...anyone holdin'...drop me a line) The idea of abuncha dudes in Cleveland making up 'joke' Hardcore bands at that time and putting out singles of them in minute editions would of amused me, but I surely wouldn't of listened to them. But now I'm old and angrier than I ever was at 16 (How'd that happen?) and those dudes were cool enough to put them all on one LP in the present day and I'm lovin' it. Cider and The Darvocets I've heard of before and they make up the first side of this thing. The Cider stuff (Originally released as the 'Out To Get Me' 7" in 1994) has got a brash UK Hardcore sound that would most likely scare the bejesus outta every hipster doofus who creamed their expensive 'vintage' jeans to the lame sounds of No Fucker a few weeks ago @ The Glass Lands. Their cover of NA's 'Last Warning' is an 'interpetation' at best, but that's whats so marvy about it. The Darvocets are like a thrash version of The Rezillos, complete with lyrics about spacemen and shit like that. I still got a lump in my pants for both Faye Fife and her goofy tunes, so you know I was down with that. Apparently they are actually playing this weekend here in Brooklyn, but I gotta babysit a copy machine that night, so I'm screwed. The second side has gotta single released by The Ruiners in '99 entitled 'Blank Your Life' which has gotta cool early Boston vibe to it but the winners of this battle of the worst bands has got to be the closers of the record, Brainwashed Youth. Apparently holding a member of Integrity (?!?) this is most likely the stupidest thing I've heard in awhile and I am ever so happy to hear it. With horrible phony British accents and inept musical ability, these guys make the Maniax sound like King Crimson. I almost crapped my pants listening to these guys....who am I foolin' with that 'almost' part? Ha! These suckahs were done up super limited (here we go again...) so jump on this like a Gia Paloma blow-up doll. Here you go...http://www.noncommercialrecords.com/

'Til then...'come in out of the darkness...'