Saturday, December 30, 2006

MY TOP TEN OF 2006 INCLUDES BOTH ME AND YOU DEAD... PLEASE FILL IN THE OTHER EIGHT SLOTS YOURSELF... Above -- Yet another shot from the 200LBU Holidaze party. Ricky belts out a heart wilting rendition of 'Too Deep Until Now' by Chain of Strength via karoke.

For those who care about that sort of thing, my fave crap of '06 can be found over at the FMU and Ecstatic Peace sites. I'll put links to it at the bottom of the post. Dig on it you sexy things, you. Since this was such a bonny year for music, there was a few things I totally forgot about when I scrawled down these pointless lists in an indecipherable scrawl (Praise be to Saint Laughner) Colossal Yes was played so many friggin' times around the Classon castle that it was sorta forgotten when it came time to make these lists. It's crawled into the walls like a cute dead squirrel whose stink smells like a scented candle from the classiest painted wagon in the nicest mall in New Jersey. I gotta copy of 'Tumbleweed Connection' hidden in my ascot and I'm not afriad to show it. Neither does Mr. Yes. I wanna hear more of these jams, but I want them to sound like Glyn Johns produced the fucker, not some hack from the early nineties. Shit...did I say that out loud? Gotta stop doing that...should make that a resolution for the new year ahead or whatever...

And another I forgot to list was Boxcutter's 'Oneiric' jam on Planet Mu. Mr. Barry Lynn made (to me) the only sit-throughable electronic groove full length of the year. As much as I love all these cwazy 12" singles I've accumulated throughout the year (Big up to Chamberweed and Dr. Don Cream for hipping me to alot of them) I gotta say when these Dubstep/Whatever cats shoot out a full length of the shit, I'm bored within the first fifteen minutes or so. It's not their fault though. Much like early Hardcore, the stuff's only good in short spurts when you're rockin' it at home. When you're out and about and within a crowd, it's a total different story. Or that could just be me. But I've spun this 'Oneiric' thing more than a few times and it still sends ice cold razor blades up my spine. Dig your nails into the ass of 'Sunshine VIP' and FEEL IT. Yup...she's a keeper...

Brooklyn B-Boys Blues Control don't need no nod and wink from yours twooly, but what the fuck? Let's do it anyways...All their cassettes jams (esp. the one on Fuck It) were sheer grace. Like watching Mike Post jam out in a Parisian cave. Can't wait to see what happens on the real deal full lengths coming out on Holy Mountain and Woodsist. Dig in and let's see what the Red and the Black has for us in the ought seven...


Like I stated in the post prior to this one, this is the first year in my life where I've ever felt conciously bitter and bored with music, even though there's been so much that's sent my heart a twitter. From Home Blitz to Violent Students to the re-issue of Jackie Mittoo's 'Wishbone' to all that output on Hot Flush and DMZ. Fucked Up sent my mind into too many inner debates regarding the idea of song as a celebration of oppression or spirtual arrival. But then the idea of abuncha maries slapping each other with their purses to 'Negative Approach' creeps into my head and I wanna move to a cave with nothing but a copy of 'Younger Than Yesterday'. I guess all I gotta do is never leave the house in '07 and have all my records and information delivered to me by small Peruvian boys and I'll be AOK. Anyone know any small Peruvian boys???

http://blog.wfmu.org/freeform/2006/12/tony_rettmans_t.html#more

http://www.ecstaticpeace.com/2006poll.php

Oh yeah, go over and look at this kids' deal...I like his steeze...

http://atwarwithmetal.blogspot.com/

And take a look at this friggin' rapist...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/sixorgans/331158526/

MERRY NEW YEARS EVERYBODY!

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

SHIT FROM A NEW YEARS NOTEBOOK -- AKA -- A FOOT WITH A MATCHING BULLET Above -- Group shot from the 200LBU Holidaze partee -- BACK ROW --(From left to right --Annonymous member of Satanic Witchery, Annonymous staff member of Dusted, Meadowlark Lemon, Devandra Banhart and annoymous 'guest' of Mr. Banhart FRONT ROW -- (From left to right -- Jimmy Pursey, 200LBU editor-in-chief Coach Smothers and 200LBU co-editor Tonya Loiterminn.

For some godforsaken reason, I’ve taken to ingesting the extract of watermelon seeds every few nights this week. While under the influence of that sweet, sweet shit, I‘ve taken notes in a ‘year end‘ fashion. It’s all a buncha hooey. A blur of Crisco and Rolex and all that kinda stuff. Take from it what you can…


Call off your dogs, I got nothing to tell you. Nothing more than what I’ve ever told you in a million other ways, being the whore that I am. New noisy punk dudes, kids in warm-up suits around South London, moldy favorites found under the bed…it’s all still news to me. Seems strange the first year I’ve actually felt bitter and bored with music is the same year I’m so blown away by most of what I hear. Let’s just say crowds give me gas and if you ever want to just come over and jam records, I’m down. It’s gotta be better than watching a thousand shlongs wag in motion, licking each other to the beat of acceptance.

I think Dolman said it a month or so back, but 2006 was certainly the return of the weird, cool idea of actually pressing up a few hundred singles of yourself and selling them. Sounds kewky , don’t it? There was the Home Blitz shit, The Jacks, Homostupids, Armas Huutamo, Velveeta Heartbreak, Sex Vid, the Religious Knives one, the list literally goes on and on. Some of them were great initially, until their veneer of intrigue was wiped away when you learned the artist posted on a message board twenty times a day and had a webcam. Mystery has been replaced with an unneeded knowledge of everything it seems. Not to sound like a blue hair with a cane underneath my armpit, but think about if The Misfits, Throbbing Gristle or Combat Stance Fanzine had the interweb in the day and time they existed. Would it have worked? Could they maintain that much of an image while telling you every time they took a crap? I’m sure brighter people than I have debated this issue, figured out the problem and then both ate and scored with Bernadette Peters and Shirley McClaine. Good for them. For now I beat on a rock and rock the seven inch jams of the year. Ain’t gonna make a list though…didn’t I already sorta do that up there? Leave that shit to the others. All I gotta say is these singles gave me a good amount of exercise running to and fro the turntable and that’ll add a year onto my life. Fucking great…


Jack off with pride in the year 2007 if you scored a copy of ‘For Sada Jane’. I’ve been watching the clock for awhile now and the arms keep moving real fast. I keep the thought of movement constantly in my mind. Stumbling is movement. Falling flat on your face is movement. Pushing the two actions together and holding them together with spit and chewing gum and keeping them intact is the job of the Markers. Anyone who has been watching for this whole time will tell you this is where the wormhole has been leading. ‘Shabbetai Tzevi/1666’ is a stoned gem that burns. Up and over, over and out…give me the time and I’ll tell you everything I heard from a twelve year old last week.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

I THINK THE SOLE REASON COMPUTERS WERE INVENTED WAS SO WE COULD ALL WATCH THIS 1ST VIDEO...OH YEAH, THE REST OF 'EM ARE GOOD TOO...

Monday, December 11, 2006

I GUESS FAIRIES DO WEAR BOOTS...

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

I'M BACK SLEEPING OR FARTING OR SOMETHING (ALL YOU EMO KIDS WHO GOT THAT REFERENCE, TRADE ME THE NOT FOR THE LACK OF TRYING DEMO ASAP) Do you know how many times I've gotten this far? Went to the 'create post' screen, picked out some silly photo, threw it up there and just stopped. Didn't even get as far as staring into a blank screen. It seemed almost immediatly I would think "This is fucking pointless...how is this going to get me money, drugs or pussy?" It was then I 'd retire to my bucket of Crown Fried Chicken and wallow in a pool of poultry grease and self loathing. But it was fun while it lasted...call me sick, call me twisted (just don't call me late for dinner!) but there's something really beautiful and therapuetic in the act of renting bad movies and chronic scratching. Some told me I was crossing over into real 'Carl' territory for awhile there, but I think I'm back for now. It wasn't all totally pointless....The local Crown gave me a free bucket of chicken for that endoresement a few sentences back, so that's cool...

So what have I been listening to inbetween repeated watchings of 'Little Man' and walks to the store to get smokes? Let's go through this pile on the floor and take a look.... Although every fucking promotional blurb for this new 'Best Of/Retrospective' Josef K thing (entitled 'Entomology') would make the average blood pumper wanna wretch a pretty stream of blue ('For Fans of Franz Ferdinand') you can't deny the jams still sound real good. Shit man, do you remember when you could enjoy a good herky-jerky limey beat without some college grad mentioning some new school group of aqua net users? Those were good times...But one keen earfull of these Scots is all I need to watch the goggle glassed throngs blast away on a cloud of fart dust kicked up by whatever 'free folk' unit they're hyping this week. See you on the pages of Pitchfork assholes! You get all the gloomy hits from the Postcard releases (It's Kinda Funny', 'Forever Drone' ,and my personal fave, 'Heart of Song') and a throng of tunes from the always rumoured, never hoid 'rejecteted' 'Sorry For Laughing' lp. Tacked onto the end is their last Peel Session, which yields a confusing cover of Alice Coopers' 'Applebush' that makes me love these sad widdle boys that much more. I can't really remember any other re-issues that came out this year (I guess I'm still having some 'Carl' moments at this date) so for now, I'll say this is my 're-issue of the year' and be done with it and wait for Domino to send me a bucket of flan for this endoresement.

My boys in Philadelphia, Violent Students, have just done up a brand new spankin' CD-EP on their own Richie Records named 'Street Banger' and I encourage the purchase of it for the simple reason they hold compromising photos of me weeping in a pair of tighty whities while a copy of 'Tapestry' can be seen vividly spinning in the background. I love these boys so much, that I will personally make sure their long awaited opus 'Towelhead' will see release before the end of the year on a label that does packaging that looks strangely like this 'Street Banger' CD. Hmmm.... http://www.testostertunes.blogspot.com/

Also based outta Philly is that there Meg Baird who you might know from the Espers band. Her solo two song single goes by too damn quick for it's own good as far as this ole fat bottomed squirrel's opinion goes. The cover of my favorite Fraser and Debolt song is like some weird message from a satelite that runs on fried food and Yuengling that this thing had to have a home here in Classon Castle. Apparently, this single should be treated as some sorta 'teaser' to the upcoming full length to be released by Meg in the new year. Consider me teased. Hopefully filthy Tonya Vodges still has some floating around his Tequila Sunrise fortress. Contact the ole boy here and find out -- http://www.tequilasunriserecords.com/

A few months ago, in a fog of double chins and wooded wangs, someone handed me a personalized package of sounds that I thought was real sweet. The look and feel of the object just shreiked care, and I was touched. That was until I threw the thing into the disc player. After listening to it, I felt 'touched' in a different way. Since I'm the type who showers in a wetsuit, I can't really point to the spot on the doll where I feel 'touched', but trust me, it's there. Did I hear someone go to the bathroom? Did someone just half assly quote 'All Cried Out' by Lisa Lisa? Why are a bunch of crazy bitches telling random bad jokes on top of one another? ..And it begins again. The CD-R is question is 'The Lexie Mountain Boys Play Sexy Fountain Music' by the Lexie Mountain Boys and it can be obtained at -- meetamountain@gmail.com

I can't help but look at the cover of this Never Healed 12" and think it looks like the soundtrack for 'The Blair Witch Project III -- The Search for Curley's Release demo', but I gotta say the thing kicks ass. Imagine if Rorschach drank and fucked more and listened to Motorhead instead of Slayer. This group of Northern Cali kids get the goat moving when all it wants to do is eat cans. Apparently a fuckload of these were damaged when someone told Frich Slappendorf (CEO of Parts Unknown, the label that released this album) there was a copy of the Pratt lp hidden somewhere in the shipping. So you know what that means...limited supplies of modern Hardcore at rock bottom prices on eBay! Ha-cha! Whoever scores me one of those Never Healed/Violent Minds split singles first will get constant mentions in my writings for years to come! No flan required! Just score me that record! For now, send your money to Parts Unknown and Crazy Jay will send you a copy in the next year or so -- http://www.partsunknownrecords.com/

Alright, that's more than enough. Hopefully I'll come back before the year is out and talk about the Skream lp and other shitte. For now, to join in with the big boys in webtastic functions, please take part in 200LBU's 'Best of '06' polls. Post your ballots in the comments section. Tanx!

BEST TELEVISION SPECIAL OF 2006 -- A) Scott Walker and Clay Aiken -- A Mother and Son Reunion Live From New York B) 'A Very John Allen Christmas' Christmas Special C) 'American Pioneers of the 20th Century -- Sid Sludge'

>BEST BAND OF 2006 -- A) The Sandpipers B) The Byrds C) Fucked Up

> BEST SHOW OF 2006 -- A) Two dudes at bar during Magik Markers set at Northsix B) Max Eisenberg appearence at Bernstein/Miller wedding C) Dancefloor inbetween XO4 and Blues Control last Friday night

BEST RECORD COVER OF 2006 -- A) Donna Roitminn - 'Harshing My Mellotron' B) Mouthus - 'I Trust My Cock, Etc. (i.e. -- Balls)' C) Lambsbread - 'Water Damage'

If you have any other 'honorable mentions' for 2006 PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE submit them (to me) P.S. -- Co - written by the beloved Grimace...